Star Citizen

Starfield Slammed with Physical Edition Controversy

June 25, 2023 News

Starfield is an up-and-coming game that’s really releasing, unlike Star Citizen, except that like Star Citizen it seems the game may only be ethereal: the physical edition will follow games like Fallout 76 and not offer a physical disc. Something fun to mention about Fallout 76 is that I got burned hard, I paid more for a physical copy only to get a code in a disc box that, may I add, was made of the absolute flimsiest plastic. Boo on you Todd Howard. This story starts with a tweet on June 25th 2023 where Bethseda said that the game would include only a code in the box. Following that, they immediately deleted the tweet. Screenshot below: The tweet is now missing. No word yet from Bethesda on whether Starfield will include a physical edition or not. It’s quite clear though that if they don’t include physical media then they…

Star Marine Is Canceled Again

June 16, 2023 Editorials

Star Citizen is a game that still kindly asks you for your money for some reason unbeknownst to anyone. Chris Roberts himself at this point likely is included in that list, although we’re past half a billion in funding now and Star Marine still is dead. I wrote in early 2016 that Star Marine was canceled which was, looking at the last decade, quite right. It languishes today not as a separate FPS game but a broken buggy module within Star Citizen with three maps and no players and soon to disappear altogether as a separate mode. Much like someone who is trying to convince you that their AI product, coded by ChatGPT is going to be the one, Star Citizen continues to languish as a cult around a product made of dreams and sunk cost fallacy. At this point even just removing Star Marine would probably be good for…

An Open Letter to the Video Game Industry – Reduce Carbon Emissions or We All Get Paper Straws

November 4, 2023 Editorials

More and more I’m becoming an eco-aware person because I’m finding paper straws are showing up more frequently in restaurants. Paper straws are a much more eco-friendlier version of the plastic straw which shouldn’t exist, but do. The mouthfeel of them is so awful and the taste of the beverage so far ruined that it makes me mad respect when the sweet lady at the sushi place behind where I live gets on everyone to reuse their straws. We need to cut carbon emissions fast and it’s growing more obvious each day. If we don’t, paper straws are just the start of the dystopian future where the US starts issuing Star Citizen packages as bonds and Bitcoin is the official in-game currency of World of Warcraft. We don’t need to jux our reality any further from the median into some Demolition Man world with the shells. They’re not the solution…

The Star Citizen CCU / Upgrades Issue in Layman’s Terms – How Star Citizen is “Optimizing” by Taking Away Purchased Items and Accidentally Purging Purchased Ships

May 7, 2019 Editorials

You may hear about how Cloud Imperium Games is removing CCUs from the game and that from within the cult, you’ll hear how this is okay and great for Star Citizen (everything is) and you’ll hear the opposite from those with CCU’s (Cross-Chassis Upgrades). To understand how this is an issue, you need to understand a lot of how the ship pledges have worked over the years. If you do understand the issue, you need to check your list of purchases and make sure that nothing else was removed. In addition to the $0 CCU tokens, many players have found their entire pledge packages removed. There is no “ship” list in Star Citizen, but instead a list of packages that you have purchased, making it all that extra confusing to see if CIG wants you to re-buy something you’ve already purchased. To note, this is a confusing system – I’ve…

The Cult of Star Citizen Heralded Our Current Dystopian Internet

May 5, 2019 Editorials

The Cult of Star Citizen is the bellowing flame enclosed within the massive furnace that is the cult of personality around Chris Roberts. Although the furnace is made of paper mâché and false promises, it still bellows. The flames roar mightily across the Internet, defending the cult from nefarious non-believers, tithing their income to the venerable Chris Roberts and making videos of how great a very limited buggy tech demo is. If you went back twenty years and told me that this nonsense existed, back in the sweet innocent year of 1999 when the Internet was the proverbial paradise of ideas, collaboration and communication – I wouldn’t believe you and point you to Slashdot to read about how blogs are going to save society. See, back then the belief was around the idea that everyone online could report the news and that no longer would mega-corporations control the news. Now,…

Star Citizen Becomes Non-Profit Religion – Announces Tithe Packages and Star Aliens

February 26, 2019 Satire

This is satire / sarcasm. If this reads too real for you, then uh, lol. Christ Roberts has announced that CIG and Star Citizen have reorganized into a non-profit, to assist him in purchasing big ticket items with the everlasting donations to his glorious ideas. Throwing away the tired and used veil of creating a game, which years upon years has yet to deliver anything but a barely working alpha, Christ Roberts has concluded that his game is more of a spiritual work than a physical one and the game will therefore launch in the afterlife. The ships you receive will be based on your good deeds in this world. For instance, if you tithe 10% of your income and give at every donation drive, you will likely get a mid-tier ship in the afterlife like most of your other Star Citizens. Failure to donate, but tithing will grant you…